Discussion Material
Experience Fear
Your nerves can work positively for you. When
you are nervous, your adrenaline flows and you get excited
about what you are doing. This response can be a good thing.
It comes across to your audience as enthusiasm. You are
anxious because you care about what you are saying and
because you care about your audience.
Giving yourself permission to
experience fear is the first step to success.
It is very natural for you to wonder about your
speaking style and wonder if the audience will
listen to what you have to say. Will you look
stupid? Will you sound stupid? You might fail,
lose where you are on the page, ramble, forget,
have poor posture, or have lipstick on your
teeth. You fear the unknown because it is not
defined, but visualizing what you fear and
letting it go in a positive way will let you
progress. You can use fear to your advantage.
Dr. Susan Jeffers writes about the
five “truths” of fear in her book
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway:
- The
fear will never go away as long as you
continue to grow.
If you are waiting for fear to go away before you
take any chances, you’ve got the wrong idea. As long as you
are stretching your capabilities, fear is inevitable. By
trying to avoid fear, you put limitations on your continual
growth.
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- The only way to get rid of the fear
of doing something is to go out and do it.
When you confront the particular situation you are
afraid of, you will be able to overcome that fear. If you are
anxious about public speaking, you must find opportunities to
speak. Participate in small groups, teach a class, or
volunteer to demonstrate in “how-to” situations.
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- The only way to feel better about
yourself is to go out and do it.
According to Dr. Jeffers, the “doing it” comes
before the feeling better about yourself: “When you make
something happen, not only does the fear of the situation go
away, but also you get a big bonus: you do a lot toward
building your self-confidence.”
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With each positive experience will come
validation and recognition. Each success will increase your
self-esteem and help you become the individual you need to be
to grow.
- Not only are you going to
experience fear whenever you’re in
unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone
else.
If you are nervous about speaking in public, you
are not alone. In a survey that asked three thousand Americans
what they were most afraid of, “speaking before a group” came
in first, ahead of heights, insects, financial problems, deep
water, sickness, and even death.
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An episode of the TV sitcom Seinfeld dealt with
the widespread phenomenon of stage fright. It began with
Seinfeld delivering these lines in his stand-up comedy act:
According to most studies, people’s
number one fear is public speaking. Number two is
death. Death is number two. Does that seem right? This
means to the average person, if you have to go to a
funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the
eulogy.
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- Pushing
through fear is less frightening than
living with the underlying fear that comes
from a feeling of helplessness.
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