Too often arguments over money are about entirely different things.  Separate out the “real” from the “imagined” problems.  Finances and the things you "own" are very tangible assets, and hence it is easy to project emotional issues onto these money matters.

Think carefully before discussing these concerns. Make sure there isn't a larger problem at the core. Set up a time when you can discuss spending. Avoid discussing finances at a time or place that may have or cause pre-existing stress.  Remember the HALT principle. Important discussions may need to be delayed if either spouse is Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.