FREE online courses on Handling Our Own Aggression & Anger - Level I Aggression control methods focusing on simple behavior - Record and reward better control over your temper

 

Considerable research with children has shown that the consistent reward of constructive, pleasant, non-aggressive behavior (while ignoring aggressive behavior) reduces aggression and prepares the child to accept future frustrations much better. If kindergartners can learn this, why can't we as adults? Review your notes about anger at the end of each week; note how the events seem trivial later and how your emotions seem excessive. See if you don't find your pre-anger thoughts to be rather amusing. Start rewarding yourself for avoiding frustrating situations, for curtailing your anger responses, and for substituting more controlled, constructive responses, like empathy responses. For instance, if you dislike a relative, say a brother or a father-in-law, reward yourself whenever you increase the pleasant, interesting interactions with that person. This may counteract the conditioned negative reactions you have.