Level IV  Cognitive processes involved in reducing aggression

 

Cognitive processes

 

Quietly and calmly reading this book as adults, it may be hard to imagine how some teenagers get into fights, sometimes lots of fights. Susan Opotow of Columbia University says that almost all of the 40 seventh graders she studied in a New York City minority school had no idea how to handle their anger except to emotionally "retreat inward" or "explode outward," i.e. fight. Only 2 out of 40 said they would "verbally express their feelings of anger." Not one considered "trying to reason with the other person" or "having an open discussion of both peoples' feelings" or "exchanging information or views" or "trying to find a satisfactory compromise" or any other solution. Perhaps it isn't surprising, since these students think fighting and swallowing their anger are the only solutions. Actually, over 50% think fights are constructive. These 13-year-olds say that without fights you would never find out who you are and what you want out of life, that you learn about people and how they react by fighting, that fights sometimes build a relationship, that fights settle arguments, and that fights can be fun.

 

Opotow says these kids consider nothing but "their gut reaction" when they are mad. They are spewers or swallowers; almost never smart copers. Surely a wise society could teach them other possible ways of resolving conflict. Indeed, given a supportive environment and a little encouragement to ponder, I'll bet the seventh graders could devise their own effective, non-violent ways of handling these situations. The point is: we have to think things out ahead of time and practice responding in better ways than with our furious fists or combative mouths.

 

When angry, ask yourself three questions: (a) Is this worthy of my attention? (b) Am I justified? (c) Can I do anything about it (without anyone getting hurt)? If you can answer all three "yes," perhaps you should express your feelings and try to do something. If any answer is "no," better control your emotions by thought stopping, attending to something else, meditation, reinterpreting, etc.