We have seen that sadness, hopelessness, loss, low
self-regard, loneliness, guilt, and shame are complex conditions or processes.
The causes are complex and so are the solutions. It is hard to pull yourself out
of a sinkhole of misery, sometimes impossible. When you feel most like doing
nothing, you need to DO SOMETHING!
When the future looks most bleak, you need to face it with some hope. When
hating yourself, you need to accept what you have been and work on being better.
So you may need help--therapy, medicine, family counseling, and/or religious
faith. But, eventually, no matter which "cure" you take, you will have to help
yourself; there is no effortless, magical cure.
No one should be ashamed of being depressed. But we are.
People who openly discuss going to Betty Ford's Clinic for alcohol abuse will
carefully conceal their depression. About 1 in every 10 of us will be seriously
depressed sometime in our lives. Baby boomers are having even more episodes of
depression, perhaps because the high hopes of the 1960's were crushed by the
economic troubles of the 1970's and beyond. Remember, there is serious
depression which is beyond ordinary sadness; in this condition you may have no
appetite, no pleasure, no energy, no hope. And, there is being "down" or in a
bad mood for a few days; it may involve crying, social withdrawal, being
irritable, having no ambition, being pessimistic, etc. These two conditions are
probably two different things. Both should be treated but the really severe
major depression must be taken very seriously; 15% kill themselves, many more
attempt it. Depression is not your fault; you are not a terrible or hopeless
person. Unfortunately, 70% of people suffering depression never seek treatment.
Please be among the 30% who go for help and stay with it. Depression is one of
the most treatable emotional problems--psychotherapy can help you, drugs can,
and you can.
Note If your depression is serious (disabling or
suicidal), seek professional help immediately. If you are in therapy or a group,
be sure to tell the therapist how much you are hurting. If not in therapy, call
a therapist or your mental health center. Do not delay by trying to treat
yourself or by hoping you'll get better. Serious depression and manic-depression
seem to have genetic, hormonal, and/or chemical aspects that are activated by
stress and upsetting life events and thoughts. Thus, when the depression is
serious, you always need to be evaluated by an MD, who will decide if you need
medication. You also need to get psychotherapy.
If your depression is primarily chemical, psychological
coping techniques are useful but not sufficient. Likewise, if your depression
has psychological causes, drugs may be useful but not sufficient. There is
usually no way to tell if your depression is chemical or psychological, so
consider both.
If you've read parts of the course relevant to you, you
probably already have some ideas about how and why you have responded with
sadness. Therefore, certain self-help methods in this section will seem more
appropriate for you to use. Fine, try two or three and see if they work. If not,
try something else. In general, gaining some optimism about getting better,
having an easy going disposition, and utilizing family support, along with
selected self-help methods, will lead to a better recovery from depression.
The methods for depression are arranged by levels in this
section. Quickly read or skim the entire list of methods before you select a few
to use. This is a preview:
Increase pleasant activities, avoid upsetting situations, get
more rest and exercise, use thought stopping and reduce your worries, atone for
wrong-doings, seek support, and use other behavioral changes,
Desensitize your sadness to specific situations and memories,
vent your anger and sadness, try elation or relaxation training, etc.,
Learn social skills, decision-making, and self-control to
reduce helplessness,
Acquire more optimistic perceptions and attributions,
challenge your depressing irrational ideas, seek a positive self-concept, become
more accepting and tolerant, select good values and live them, and
Read about depression, learn to recognize repressed feelings
and urges that may cause guilt, explore your sources of shame (perhaps even
going back to childhood).
