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Assertiveness
“To know oneself, one should assert
oneself”.
… Albert Camus; “Notebooks”
Irrespective of what any thesaurus might say,
assertiveness cannot be a synonym for ‘brazenness', ‘brashness' or
‘insolence'. The assertive person is not shy in expressing his
feelings frankly, like the child who pointed out that the Emperor had no clothes
on. Such people are worth
keeping.
The assertive person will not shy away from telling it like it
is; he
respects you, and himself, too much for that. It is a sign of honesty; a commitment
to team goals, if a subordinate tells you that it would be better if you
tried things his way. It is the mark of a man who knows enough about his area
of work to speak his mind. Real leaders don't mind being led, a feature
which endears them to their men.
It is the
hallmark of a good team. Dictatorships kill assertiveness and breed
submissiveness. By perpetuating mediocrity, they ensure their own obsolescence.
Hitler got rid of
Rommel because he was asserting himself and questioning the Feuhrer's
decisions. Eliminating the ‘Desert Fox' was one of
Hitler's greatest mistakes, turning the course of
the War in favor of the Allies. And when Ike launched ‘the greatest
armada in history' against the beaches of Normandy, there were only two
planes with Pluskatt to strafe the invaders! Such are the after-effects of
crushed initiative and dormant assertiveness.
What
is important to both sides is that opinions are
expressed, and justified, in an open, logical
manner in ‘adult' mode, to influence the other without damaging the
relationship…in fact, the residue of assertiveness
is a sneaking admiration, one for the other, another hall-mark of a good team. When Robin Hood encountered John Little on the log
bridge, neither would allow the other to cross first, and in the ensuing
short-staff engagement, it was Robin who got knocked off into the stream. Robin
spotted potential, and the giant ‘Little' John became Robin's top lieutenant in
the struggle against King John, and in raising the ransom for the safe return of
Richard, The Lion Heart, from the Crusades. People who
assert themselves often get promoted!
The boss benefits from assertive
behavior:
- Changes offensive
behavior, and both emerge stronger
- Give negative feedback
or say “no” without diminishing anyone's esteem
- Staff more involved with
decisions
- Staff learn and develop
- Incipient rebellious
modes may be completely transformed
- Manages conflicts early
- People become more
responsible, accept suggestions
- Team work; a team of
winners that pull together
- Develops confidence and
self-esteem
- It increases your mutual
respect/authority
- Creates a learning
environment.
QUESTIONS:
1.
What is it about assertiveness that makes it so attractive a proposition
for a boss?
2.
What is it about assertiveness that it gets people promoted? What do say
are the hidden strengths of assertive people?
